please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
In America we eat man semen.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
