I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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