Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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