the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize