Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
