and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
