Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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