So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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