? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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