I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
