so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
