getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
