We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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