awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
