How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
