the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
