we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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