A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
