i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
