fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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