How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
