You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize