I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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