Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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