i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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