it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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