how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
