Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
