god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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