She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's like iHOP with fire
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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