The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
