Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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