So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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