what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
