u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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