ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
