Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
