Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
