Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
two words: eviction party
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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