It's a beautiful day for a hangover
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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