i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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