Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize