She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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