Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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