I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize