Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
