No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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