I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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