Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
