and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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