lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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