Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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