just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
