Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
