On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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