yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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