I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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