did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
