My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Enjoy the penises
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
