do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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